Motivation to survive is not merely an accomplishment of hierarchical set of needs. It is meeting the demands and wants of self that conflict in concentric circles day in and day out. .
Self esteem helps self actualization not confidence.
So why is loss so traumatic?.
For the simple reason “you have taken away my belonging or person by force and without my consent, how dare you?”.
Holding on and remembering the belonging or person beyond the loss is natural and necessary, if we are to overcome loss and live through traumatic situation.
“Off load your gas or anger they say” as long as it does not hurt you or someone else. Everyone feels anger, those who are successful are those who channelize anger. Very few can. You can join their ranks if you can channelize anger to something productive and constructive.
Depression involves inaction, a low feeling that persist for days on end. Work through a number of skills and appropriate manageable action plans to overcome Depression.
Anxiety is much more than an over whelming feeling. Come to terms with panic attacks and anxiousness through appropriate action and meditation techniques. Skills at your disposal for a life time.
Addiction is much more than a dis-ease. It affects lives, spouses and families.
It is not the substance that matters but the feelings associated with the behavior. Foster an environment of recovery rather than a prolonged environment of addiction. Relapse is part of the recovery and not a setback.
Stopping is easy, staying stopped for the rest of ones life requires a wholistic recovery process. Recovery takes a lifetime.
It is a luxury for someone to say that she or he is not stressed. Stress management is not about finding solutions, Many a talented individuals have either burned themselves to early in their careers or families cause they did not have the skills to endure the daily stress. Too often people resort to medication as the magic pill for the cure of stress. De-stressing and changing toxic stress into tolerable stress or good stress needs the skills of a well experienced Counselor.
Counselling and Therapy is not an intellectual exercise. It is an intelligent thought process that fosters emotional intelligence. Intelligence that can change everyday behavior.
Thought and feelings need to work together to modify behavior.
Behavior improves lives and families
An ever changing work environment brings about challenges that a stable human being finds hard to live with. Change in the work sphere creates anxiety and unproductively. When dealing with change one needs to start with the end, consolidate a new course before starting a new beginning.
As a relationship progresses one needs to fall in love and grow in love with the same person they first met. If not they will look for meaning in life outside the relationship. Partners and spouses do this not to find another partner but in search for belonging and self fulfilment. If a relationship does not grow it stagnates, the flow of love is the external sunshine that bathes the fragile inner soul.
Violence is not an option and yet people use bulling and cyber crime to target innocent victims. People of entitlement think it is their right to perpetuate cyber surveillance to capture the weak. Repeated campaign advertisement are used today to brain wash fragile minds. This campaign is nothing but prolonged digital stalking in everyday life. While bullies justify, one needs to transition from a victim to a survivor in order to live and move on in life.
Stop being a victim of systematic systemic cyber crime.
Partner violence and disrespect is becoming the norm of the day. Partners think it is their right to own the other. Sadly children are used as pones and forced to take sides when partners choose to go their separate ways. Children who witness violence are not only traumatized by what they see but are victims of their parents making by continuing what they see as acceptable behavior. No matter who gets hurts. This is not acceptable.
Self harm is the new cry of teens all over schools, colleges and universities. Self inflicted harm is a cry to survive life not to end life.
“TO BE or NOT TO BE” is the question. Long before teens debate the former they have taken their time at struggling in handling the dictate “MAY BE”. The confusion, depression and anxiety only compounds many students who are stressed with school work in environments and campuses that are not as comfortable has their home.
Loss and bereavement is part of life. If there is a birth, in time death will follow. Everyone’s loss is the most serve in their lives. Yet the grieving process is a must. Remembering, missing, recalling or re visiting the one who has passed and moved on is therapeutic.
Being a care giver is stressful. It is as if you are living two lives in one body. Living your own life and that of your elderly loved one. The emotional exhaustion is not funny. No matter how much you love your parents and grandparents there comes a time when because you love them and yourself, you need to seek professional care.
It is a celebration of life before the end approaches. It is creating individualized senior plans so that seniors may live in dignity and comfort. The golden years need to be golden not merely a place to habitat. A “good bye” is a reminder of saying,
“ I walked this land,
I walked with you hand in hand.
Now that I cannot rise to stand,
Carry me away, always to be at your side..
As I fly like an angel with every sunrise.
julian d'souza © copyrights 2023.
All Rights Reserved.
Counselled over 6000 plus clients. 10 years plus experience in the Addiction field. Call for Couples and Relationship Counselling and Anger, Depression, Anxiety .